Sometimes when I meditate, I can have conversations with my Spirit. I have this voice inside my head, that’s me, but so much better. There is a me, inside of me, that is so uncomplicated, it’s almost maddening. She’s wiser, has buckets of courage, funnier, laughs like a child that sees your boogers but won’t tell you, patient, direct, mysterious – all this and yet, humble.
On another note, I have a few voices inside my head. I’ve named them after one of my favorite books, The Wizard of Oz. There’s the wizard – who sounds like my father, but also, very judgey and critical. There’s Scarecrow – who’s actually very wise and analytical – but so unsure of her mind. There’s the Cowardly Lion, who’s such a scaredy cat, it’s not even funny – but turns out, when the chips are down, she’s got balls of steel. There’s the Tin Woman, who’s heart bleeds for every creature, but puts on her armor everyday to battle the world. And then there’s the Good Witch: she’s who I’m talking about when I say, my Spirit.
I recently had a conversation with my Spirit – the human me, took notes. I want to share a part of that conversation with you. I have been reflecting on this conversation often. Returning to it, turning it over in my mind, like a page that has a front and a back. Replaying it, looking at it in a different light. And trying to make more sense out of it. I say “more sense” because it’s simple, but not easy. Isn’t that the way all realizations are?
For the sake of keeping things simple, I’m going to call my Spirit, Glenda, and my every day me, Little D. Here’s part of our recent conversation:
Little D: What questions should I ask?
Glenda: Ask your questions. Do not judge them. Ask them so that you know the question & hear the answer for yourself.
Little D: Why am I here?
Glenda: You know.
Little D: Is it to help humanity?
Little D: Why am I afraid of that questions & that answer?
Glenda: Why ARE you?
Little D: Because it feels to big for me (to handle) & I do not feel worthy.
Glenda: If it was too big, you would not have take it on or volunteered.
Little D: I volunteered?
Glenda: Yes. You chose this path. And this life.
Little D: But it seems hard/impossible/too big.
Glenda: You asked the question. If you don’t like the answer, ask bigger questions. Get bigger TRUTHS.
Little D: Bigger than this?
Little D: How am I qualified to help? What can I do to help?
Glenda: Follow your path. You mapped it out. Continue to follow it.
Little D: I don’t remember mapping this out.
Glenda: Yet, it feels familiar, does it not? Are you surprised?
Little D: Yes, it feels familiar. I am surprised, but I am not shocked – like a part of me knew. (but how can that be? I said I was surprised!). I was just hoping it was easier. Like, what if my job is to laugh and seek out joy. I’d like it to be that easy.
Glenda: Yes, all of that.
Little D: What do you mean?
Glenda: It IS easier. You make it harder than it needs to be. Don’t get caught in the details. The details weigh you down. Your job is to laugh and seek out joy. That is how you can help humanity. Help everyone find their laughter and their joy. They can remember theirs when they see yours.
There you have it folks! Basically, Glenda, the Good Witch, aka my Spirit, aka my higher self, said: My job is to laugh and seek out joy. And then help others find theirs too. Seriously Glenda? I.have.the.best.job.EVER.
There’s more to the conversations, and I’ll continue to share more. It’s sometimes hard for me to believe, and scary for me to put it out there. I could just be crazy. OR, I could be on the right path: my path.
With a whole heart,